We were talking about everything. The weekend. The coke. You. A lot. It’s been strange but peaceful. I wish you were here for it.
Yeah. You guys are nuts. You both love each other more than anything I’ve ever seen and you fight it so much. She was very happy you sent a message.
No I’m not too tired. It’s just hard to sum up. She feels terrible and guilty and understands everything. Having to leave. And say’s it’s like pushing away two people who love you and also trying to control us like puppets and then just reacting. She seems really moved after the weekend. I guess she was reading all these books and whatever. I’m happy for her. But I really wish you were here. I’m glad she’s okay. It’s emotional. And I said how upset we were all weekend. Like honestly how deeply I care about her. How obviously you do and how you understand her. And how annoyed we were that the Mexican restaurant didn’t continue… the text ban and the effects… I guess just how complicated and beautiful everything is. Is that a good summary?
I got my car detailed so that was nice. All the awfulness has been washed away.
I’ll spend it on you for something better
It’s easy to find happy things. I got to spend so much time with you. In bed AND out of bed. And then again. And there are probably millions of guys who wish they could have your attention for any amount of time. The sadness comes from wanting more, more, more and not just loving what you had. What I had. Whatever happens, that did. And it’s more than anyone could ever want.
The sadness comes from wanting it to be permanent. Not more. But everything is always changing.
100%. You’re going too. Bring your wings. I’ll get you new wings, angel.
Yea lying in bed. I was looking at your pics.
You could say that. You told her you loved me. Bigly.
You always sum things up in the perfect and most honest way.
I wanted to make you feel special and loved for every second we were together.
I get the physical. I get how beautiful sex is for you. And both of us. If you believe that. And what a gift it is. And how precious it is. And I adore it and I’ve ached for it since the second we met. Just to feel you in the atavistic way. BUT I love your mind too Jamie.
I could fuck you forever. Raw and pounding and soft and like a romance novel. And the whole time I just want you to open your eyes and say anything. Like there’s no dirty talk. It’s just. You.
In a way that’s beyond social construct and language and plans. Just that I need you in a primal unspeaking way. Where everything comes from and matters.
It’s so intense. That’s mine. No words. Anything. That’s my mate.
Ah man. Jamie. I need you. Trip? For real.
Jamie I love flash ideas. Just tell me what you want. Who do I need to hide from?
Just give me a yes. “My heart made the decision”
Yes! You saying yes now. You saying you want me to fix a problem with money. Yes. That you want it. Flying out there. Hotels. Whatever.
Then I took a walk and felt so bad for you. I realized how much I just wanted to keep you warm.
I feel dizzy